I was at an event with many of my professional domme colleagues the other day, taking lot’s of photos, and posing. At a certain point I just had to take my heels off, my feet were killing me (note to self, only wear Pleasers). My choices were barefoot, or some patent leather flats.
I often session barefoot, as I like to use my feet, but this venue/event was not one I felt like traipsing as though I were at home. Only my patent leather shoes look a bit girly. Plus, I wore frilly little ankle socks. Just sayin’.
Confession. I wear this sort of stuff all the time, because a part of me is quite girly. Part of that is hormones. My oestrogen levels are high, like those of an ovulating woman. And they never come down. Hence my permanently energetic and sunny disposition.
I also believe that hormones fundamentally drive our brains, but that is another topic. All I am saying is that the little girl archetype is in me at all times. My lived experience is that of the Crone, the wise woman. My session persona is mainly the Mother. It is my default energy.
But I’ve been thinking about this little girl thing for quite a while, because it is also a part of how I play.
One of my “big sisters” and mentors in this beautiful business saw a photo of me in full domme regalia, only wearing my girly shoes. She noted the contrast. And it got me thinking.
What would little girl energy show up as in a dominatrix? And I wondered about Loki, the Norse God of mischief. Loki is so mischievous that they present as either male or female as it suits. How appropriate.
What is the “little girl” archetype in the dominant woman?
To feel this energy is to invoke innocence, mischief, emotional sensitivity, and unbridled playfulness. It is not weakness at all. Instead, such a person is likely to be:
- curious and boundary pushing
- emotiomally expressive, bubbly, and unfiltered
- enchanted by her own power to affect others, delighting in it. A smile, a pout, a playful swat or pinch, even a giggle that might change the atmosphere
Carried into dominance what emerges is not a. cold or clinical Mistress, but a joyful trickster, a giggling Goddess of mischief, a tantric teaser—someone who will be joyful and not aloof.
I get the love of latex and leather, the domme uniform, but I don’t need that to hop and skip through your psyche, to tickle your fears, to whisper in your ear. I mostly session in my lingerie. The softness and vulnerability of that is every part of my sensual sadism.
The Female Loki: Seduction, Laughter, Chaos
Loki is a shapeshifter, a trickster, a disrupter of order. Sound familiar? The female Loki as a dominatrix might be:
- playfully cruel. She never needs to raise her voice because her tongue is sharp like the whip. She is one to be obeyed
- emotionally intelligent, knowing just how to twist any feeling into a collar and leash
- Fluid in style and approach, never fixed in role, keeping you guessing, always two steps ahead
Such a domme does not need to resort to brute force. She plays with reality instead. She invites submission not be demanding it, but by enticing you into it, in laughter, and with a spark.
I often ask myself why my subs and I laugh together so much. I do not laugh to mock, but to spark joy: we create a shared spell, a psychic playground of pure erotic power.
This is how we hold emotion without shame. Dominance is a dance, a play, not a form of punishment.
Laughter in the Dungeon
I love to laugh with my subs and nearly always do. It is a form of connection. Intimate emotional play sparks this. It is a door-opener:
- Disarming resistance, encouraging surrender
- Shares the delight in my power, rather than holding you at bay
- It makes the act of domination a dance, a co-created beauty
Laughter becomes the blessing, saying, “yes, I see you. I know what you are giving me, and it pleases me.” That is the sound of the little girl meeting the Goddess inside of me. Make me laugh.
It isn’t a Contradiction. It’s magic
The classic dominatrix archetype is built on the idea of armour: leather, being cold or aloof, degrading you, humiliation, command. I am thinking instead of my playful and mischievous approach. The outcome is the same, but the journey into your submission is very different.
The little girl domme doesn’t need to intimidate to get her way with you:
- She delights you into obedience
- She giggles as she undoes you
- She looks soft but plays with sharp toys
- She rules with a smile that says, “you’ll behave for me, won’t you?”
Intrigued?
If you can laugh with me as I undo you, you may be worthy of my leash.
An Invitation
If you are here, something in you has already responded.
This is not casual booking, and it is not for everyone. I work with people who are curious, intelligent, and willing to take responsibility for what they want.
Those who wish to work with me do not request. They present themselves.
Begin here.
About Me
Mx Valentina is a feminist dominatrix, a trans and intersex woman, whose practice centres on ethical power exchange and the conditions under which lives reorganise themselves around purpose rather than shame. Her work is selective and relational, grounded in the belief that submission is not a role to be played but an orientation that must already be present. She works only with those who understand that access is conditional and authority is not negotiated. You can find my scholarly feminist writing on Substack and lighter pieces on Medium.
