Oh, the things we do for you!
Hello lover.
When you seek to become my client, you enter a world which is fully on my terms. We do and play as I wish to do and play. But don’t think for a moment that I neglect you. I work on my body for me, but I know you’ll enjoy it. I study Tantra for me, and for my girlfriend, but I also do it because I know that the mind-blowing sex that comes with it will make you addicted, and after all, that is why you come to see a Sex Witch in the first place isn’t it? To surrender. Just as I invest in myself, in my craft, I expect you do the same for yourself.
What do I want to see in you? First, and above all (yes, far more important than what you look like or how fit you are) you have to be committed to your own personal growth. You can only go forth in the world as a righteous human if you are in your power. It may seem strange to go to a dominant woman to find your own strength, but on close examination, not really. This is what we do. Through surrender you release shame, accept yourself for what you are, and start to grow. I may just see your beauty before you do.
There are also concrete steps for you to take. Thanks that make you attractive to me as a client. I’d like to see you in therapy. I want you doing things that stretch and develop you…and yes, if you are going to be my sub, my slave, I expect you to make the very best possible version of yourself available to me and to the world.
You would never lay a bowl of rotten fruit at the food of a Goddess…
– A woman who knows
The things we find erotic are chinks of light into the deep recesses of our animal brains. Things which should, could, be accessible to the rational mind, but are buried under layers of shame and social stigma, that they can no longer be understood. They might get choked out in the form of out-of-kilter emotion, or in the shower…quickly, followed by a jolt of remorse.
I know that some of my colleagues don’t like to be fetishised. I don’t mind so much, as long as you are respectful and pay the agreed fee without any drama. But I won’t keep you as a client if there is no way to pry you open, no urgent desire on your part to be pried open…to pull away your locked-finger grip on your fetish…come to me with a willingness to be cracked open.
And what happens when you are cracked open? The Divine enters to fill the empty spaces. I am not suggesting religious practice, but the existence of God is empirically irrefutable, and anyway, as Blaise Pascal pointed out, you’d be a fool to discount God’s existence because to bet against is a loser’s bet.
What does all this have to do with Tantra? And more specifically, Tantric Sex?
Well, first of all, Tantra is a spiritual practice, a way of life, the essence of which is surrender. Humility. Service. Do you get where I am going? How many submissives write to my fellow Dommes, to me, every doggone day? Millions. And I am not exaggerating. I can’t resist, and anyway, it’s the truth—they’re all men.
You won’t be surprised that a Sapphic dominatrix would suggest to the male amongst our species to learn from the women, but surprise, surprise, here goes: when a woman approaches it is with tender humility. She rightfully knows what she wants, and what she doesn’t want, and states it politely, respectfully. Most women clients also want to go on a date first, to see what the “energy” is like, whether we gel.
The most common male approach is a message along the lines of “I want to be your slave.” I admire the directness of man. But what for? Why? What purpose does slavery play in your life? What does that even mean? How will it enrich my life–for isn’t that what you are asking for–how to enrich my life?
Please understand what submission is, what its promise is, how it is a path of enlightenment. Understand, too, that to be truly submissive is to embody strength. To serve in a way that truly adds value, where you have laid yourself open, raw, with all your power, and all that you are capable at my feet. It is hot.
The more you have to have offer, the tastier your submission is. The Tantric path is a guide for me to help you develop as a sub, as a slave. My willingness, even desire, to connect with a client physically, is a part of this process. Sensual touch, sex, are all forms of divine connection. If a client pays me for something, it is for my time and attention—I will think about you, understand you. What happens between us, behind closed doors, is a matter between two consenting adults.
And believe me, even if you are a client, I will find a way to love you, because it is through that connection that the work will flourish. This is not an invitation for you to expect freebies or even 15 minutes of my time without compensation. Your payment ensures the solidity of container, ensures that I show up for you. And I will do with you exactly what I please…after all, that’s why you come to me…to not have to decide. To submit. To submit to Mommy, Daddy, Domina, Miss Valentina…and she is me, holding the reigns.
Why would a man write to a professional dominatrix and say something silly like “hi baby” or “I want to be your slave”? I admire the sentiment, and the energy, but ask yourself this…what exactly do you bring to the party? If it is just work for me, you’re in the wrong place…for any of us. And here is a free tip which could transform your life. Make yourself supremely valuable, and then approach with respect and humility, and a clear understanding of what you offer.
Money is a starting and ending point for many of us. But money is just a medium of exchange. When a client buys my time, they don’t me, or what we do, they buy my attention. What we do with my attention on you is between two consenting adults.
So, the Tantric path has lessons for said subs. For submission is Divine when it is pure. And if that’s the kind of submission you wish to be capable of, then I will want to work with you, will pay attention to you, and will invest in your development.
Does that mean you don’t have to pay or you get a discount? No. That’s pretty straightforward right? It isn’t a question of what you should pay, it is rather a question of being worth my time. I’m not at all expensive. It’s your life. It’s you.
Yes, I will put my hand in your pants and give it a squeeze if that is what you want…but I might also encourage a baby step—a chastity cage for a submissive who is not yet strong enough to vow controlled celibacy…or more importantly, capable of constant edging.
How long can you go in life without cumming…and I don’t mean being asexual. I mean having a full and rich sex life…but no cumming for man (penile orgasms) and no spasm orgasms for women (clitoral). No. To live on the edge, to preserve your sexual energy. This is your power. This is God’s gift. It is to be harnessed and used, not quivered away in a five-second blast and milky-white puddle…
I can turn a man into a multi-orgasmic man, able to please a woman (or another man)…even if you have erectile dysfunction, are a premature ejaculator, or are simply unable to be present and in your body with your partner. I don’t care if you have a micro-penis. You will learn to find satisfaction in her (or his or their) satisfaction.
And if you are a woman, it is a profound honour to see you discover the joy in your own body, a celebration of your gift of Divine female power, and in the reclaiming of agency, the crushing of the patriarchy, and total ownership of your body. There is no shame in being a slut. There is no shame in a rape fantasy. You can ask this of your partner and learn to surrender to it whilst being empowered by it, energised.
The Tantric path teaches these things. If I were to say I spent 7 days on a “Sex Retreat” it would conjure unhelpful images. If I were to use “Tantric retreat”, it might not be any better. Getting to know yourself on a retreat of any kind can be interpreted in so many ways, not all of them good. So let’s be clear. I’ll put myself through the wringer, learn to speak the erotic, so that we can speak it together…and as we do, together watch the blossoming of you.
Yes, I am a Sex Witch. I am the Third Sex. I operate in the liminal space between dreams and wakefulness, between male and female, between and Mommy and Daddy, between Priestess and Whore.
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